Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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