Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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