If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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