Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
