Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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