He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
