I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
