Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
