i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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