all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
