well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
i believe in u and ur pee
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
