Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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