i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
