she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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