I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
