dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
