508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
