Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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