Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
