Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You pole danced in your parka.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize