So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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