think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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