She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
