i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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