Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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