he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
