i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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