either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
