Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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