just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
