That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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