Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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