I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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