I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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