Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
