actually, I'm a sock model
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
