I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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