He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
