The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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