Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
