i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize