The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
