You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?