How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
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we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
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These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.