Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.