The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
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He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
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woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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