Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Also, beer. Big fan.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
the liver wants what the liver wants
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day