I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
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I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless