Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Blood and glitter go together right?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
