i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm getting married
To pizza
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
