my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
