I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
