You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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