He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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