you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
