She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
