dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
