No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
