Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
