What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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