fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
