Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
