he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
