Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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