spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
