he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize